|
By Sri Sushil Ranjan Das
Translated by Debesh Ch Patra
I observe Sri Sri Thakur in such ordinary events, which we tend to ignore in life. Sri Sri Thakur never ignored the smallest event of any sort. Rather He is extra vigilant on such small spots, which normally get spared by us.
Sri Sri Thakur's observation is sharp and He takes minutest care of any thing he does. If he has to sow a seed, he would make elaborate arrangement by way of knowing about the type of seed, origin of seed, the likely fruit out of it, suitability of soil and so on. Likewise, he takes care that a sapling grows unhindered, protected from the pouncing animals, the combined potential of the seed and the soil blooms up to their fullness.
Sri Sri Thakur also does exactly same for human beings. For each person, he provides a setting, most appropriate to his core being and inborn aptitude. That setting puts the person on an auto mode, which is most natural to him. If some one gets tired while on journey or he stumbles upon a barrier, then Sri Sri Thakur makes the path clear, provides him with energy, support and motivation. He keeps a close watch on every body's all round growth at all times along with the surroundings. He makes every one to stand on firm footing, to grow on one's own strength, without casting a shadow on some one else's existence and growth. Sri Sri Thakur never tempers with the laws of nature. Collective co-existence is His ideology.
My language fails to capture Sri Sri Thakur. My mind is totally pledged unto Him. Sri Sri Thakur reigns supreme in my mind all along. He is the man who knows me best and loved me the most.
All worldly activities and relationships are bound by limitations of measurement. I did not find an uncalculated move, limitless love and my mind was groping for largeness. In return what I got was a painful rebuff from all quarters.
At that juncture of my life, I came across this man, an uncommon one, yet the most sociable. May be it was a providential rendezvous; I do not know as to how did it happen. I found the man and I found every thing. He accepted me in total, with all my follies and foibles. He took charge of me. He filled up the void in my longing heart. His feeling was that of a father at the time of return of his prodigal son.
The scene of my first encounter with Him is ever fresh in my mind. I undertook the formal pledge of His discipleship before meeting Him. That was an experimental and exploratory step, which I took, having persuaded by the co-disciples of Sri Sri Thakur. I had my doubt about the whole affairs of Sri Sri Thakur being projected as the incarnate of God. I landed at Sri Sri Thakur's ashram at Deoghar with mind full of apprehension about any fruitful outcome of my engagement with Sri Sri Thakur. I said, "I have accepted ˜diksha" only with a view to visit and have intimate talk with you. In reality I do not hold you in full trust nor do I believe in the path formulated by you." Sri Sri Thakur was as calm as ever. He, as if, validated my view. He put a stamp of logic on my supposedly negative perception. He said, "faith follows action; faith can hardly be forced upon. It is quite natural on your part not to repose your faith on me, as you are yet to be familiar with me."
I said, "your followers declare that you are God's incarnate. They speak volumes about you, which prima facie appear to be impractical and therefore incredible. Their propagation, baseless as it appears, cause irritation in me and I find it hard to tolerate.
Sri Sri Thakur bore a pleasant smile. "I am Anukul Chandra Chakravarty, son of Shiv Chandra Chakravarty. Besides that I am what people feel about me. Now it is up to you to see me and know about me. Apply your perceptive ability, use your intellect and do not spare me. Believe in your own feelings. Tell truth; never yield ground to falsehood", said Sri Sri Thakur.
I never heard such plain speaking sincere words from any one about oneself any time before. I continued in my expression. "Indians are god-fearing and religious by birth as well as by culture. People usually refrain from talking ill of so called god-men, saints and seers. Therefore the field of religion is replete with spurious god-men, who exploit the religious sentiment of the people. Such god-men have field day in indulging in self aggrandizement."
Sri Sri Thakur interrupted. "Let it be so; it is immaterial for you. You will know the reality and speak it aloud without least fear. A weak and feeble has no place in the kingdom of "dharma". You will keep your perception clear and you will speak out of your own realization, which may or may not be corroborated by other's realization."
I was taken aback with the forthrightness of Sri Sri Thakur. In His words, I did not find a trace of attempt to support him. At the same time, He does not wear a veil of humility to negate the substance that is shown up in Him. I continued, "œduring last few days of observation, I find yours is an ashram where people are free to do things in their own way. Why do not you regulate your followers?"
"I like the play of free will. A person must live happily in his own way as per his aptitude and ability. Only factor that brings in a progressive element in his dwelling is his attachment with an Ideal, which otherwise I say "concentric go". Take the case of a football team. Each player in the team has a unique position and a distinct move. If one payer moves with left leg, the other one moves with right; some one else can play the ball in hand and so on. Each player has a specific way, which is different from others. But the team goal is one, which keeps them tied with one another. It is the team interest, which brings about the desired co-ordination and integration amongst the team members. Every team member aims for the victory of the team and that compels them to adhere to the rules of the game. Coming to the issue of discipline in life, it is the attachment to Ideal that plays the crucial role. All adjustments, in individual and collective life, flow from there. That adjustment is a continuous process, which does not come in a day. Again there are degrees and levels of adjustments and restraints. Basically, the drive springs from one's desire to grow and expand oneself. The drive for self-elongation is inherently there with every person. It only needs to be stimulated, regulated, appropriated and given a natural culmination. That process is undertaken by the Guru, who is the Master and the Ideal, all rolled in one. Once a person develops attachment on the Ideal, then he is set on the path of unhindered progress. Do you expect that this process can take place for every body in the same pace and in identical manner? That actually takes place as per individual distinctiveness. The Master regulates and drives each one as per one's need and capability. Master can do it, only if one is surrendered to Him and follows His dicta. Disciples are auto disciplined. Discipline, in its literal meaning has an element of eternity in it; which means that which takes one towards eternity and elevation is discipline. Discipline is found in observance where ever the trend towards upward mobility is there."
Sri Sri Thakur continued. "To regulate some one, I feel, is not necessarily to whip or to inflict coercion; it is to cause such force in life such that one marches ahead in the battle filed of life like a indefatigable hero. The exercise of regulation complements both, the regulator and the subject."
I started experiencing a sense of exhilaration from within as I waded to fathom the meaning of what Sri Sri Thakur unfolded before me. "Who is this man? Is His analysis of discipline borne by Him in practice? My mind was willing to yield to sublimity with a reason that unless He does in practice, why is He taking pain to explain the process to an ordinary person like me? From the height of his pedestal where He is placed, He could have easily brushed me aside. What surprised me more and took me nearer to Him was His tolerance of my rude approach and defying nature of my questions. He did not for once force His discipline on me. Instead He endeared me. He took my questioning attitude and me as lovingly as a mother picks up a soiled baby and cleanses it up."
While my mind was still rattling and was trying to navigate through a whirlpool of logic and counter logic, Sri Sri Thakur admonished, "weigh every word of mine in the balance of action. Do not take my words if these are not validated by me in practice."
I have started receiving Sri Sri Thakur, yielding to His overbearing spell and spirit, yet holding myself back. I am tossing Him, sometime I find myself in complete agreement with everything what He says and next moment I get lost in doubt and repulsion. Events of deceit and deception experienced in earlier days in my life always winking at me with circumspection and prompting me not to succumb to His aura. My mental state presents a scene like a baby sprinting away; the weary mother chasing behind, hoping to catch and feed the child. The child is playing around, keeping itself at arm's length of the troubled mother. Feeding the child is mother's interest; the child is unconscious of it; causing immense anxiety to mother. I am behaving like a pupil of standard one, testing the depth of knowledge of a teacher, who is a postgraduate.
I however do not nurse apology for my action, though I consider my thought and action as daring and inappropriate. We are ignorant; no doubt about it. We therefore have the need for Him. Darkness adds value to light. Night justifies the need for day. At the stage in my life, when I was failing and faltering, this man sneaked into my life easily, almost from nowhere and caused an impact that is incalculable. As the day passed, Sri Sri Thakur, the intruding guest in my life, became an inseparable part. Life is hollow without Him.
The maiden visit was over only with dialogue. Then came the time for validation; that is validating His words. The process is on, as if it will never end. Enquiry and solution are flowing like water in a perennial river. One question leads to the other. Sri Sri Thakur is leading me into a world of exploration and I am caught in a state of bewilderment.
As I have said elsewhere, the point of time in my life when I came in contact with Sri Sri Thakur was full with despair and dejection. I was alone, bereft of all relations. No one was with me; not even my wife and mother, who of course was burdened with old age and struggling with life. I had relatives, who were there for the namesake and who would rather rejoice at my odds rather than sympathize. I came to Sri Sri Thakur with a view to collect and energize myself. In a couple of days, I was calmed to a great extent and I sought Sri Sri Thakur's permission to return to Balasore. "I like much when you are here. It pains me immense at the thought of your departure", said Sri Sri Thakur. I was cooled down. I reasoned with myself that there is some one on this earth, who longs for me, who can not stand the pang of my separation from him. Then I won't go today. I will overstay for a few more days.
Sri Sri Thakur looks for me often, make me to sit besides Him and explain many things in very simple terms. I had a little bit of reading on astrology. Sri Sri Thakur discussed the basics of astrology with me and advised to study His horoscope. My own horoscope was also studied along with some others. I was surprised at the ease with which Sri Sri Thakur dealt with the cosmic laws. I am getting convinced that Sri Sri Thakur knows every thing. His sphere of knowledge is wide, which is beyond my comprehension. To appreciate a simple hint coming from Him, one has to refer many books and finally come to a point Sri Sri Thakur's view gets validated. In the process, I got a good exposure on astrology, as a subject of study on life in relation to planets. Sri Sri Thakur arranged a notebook for me and advised me to record the analysis of horoscopes. Horoscopes of many people were collected with me. Sri Sri Thakur listens to my analysis and sometimes gives me new angles and visions. While analyzing the horoscopes, I get insight into lives of many people, including that of my own.
Days are passing like this. I am at Deoghar, in the close proximity of Sri Sri Thakur. At times I feel nostalgic and run up to Sri Sri Thakur. "Thakur, won't I go to Balsore?" I seek Sri Sri Thakur's permission. His wish is final for me and His satisfaction is my supreme interest. Sri Sri Thakur looks at me. "I get pain at the thought of your departing from me", words barely come out of His lip, wistfully and with resignation. My mind calms down, gets focused on the man who knows me best and loved me the most. I ruminate, ˜one day Sri Sri Thakur said, do what I say, see how truthful my words are and see for yourself the result of your action". Months passed by. Letters and telegrams started pouring in from home. Sri Sri Thakur tells the same one line, "I do not feel like letting you off". A year came to be concluded. Devastating news comes from home. My shop at Balasore has been auctioned off. The landlord has evicted my family due to default in rent payment and has seized my household property in lieu of rent. My mother, wife along with daughters is on the road. The news convulsed my heart and deep sulking breath from within could hardly choke my emotion. I ran up to Sri Sri Thakur, as if a storm ravaged man instinctively runs for a shelter. "How are things?" Sri Sri Thakur said in a normal tone, before I could say any thing. For a moment, I was obsessed with feelings of being hurt. I said, "every thing is fine".
"How fine?" said Sri Sri Thakur. Again with a pause, He said, "what is there in the pocket?"
"It is a letter from Balasore", I said.
"What is there in it?" asked Sri Sri Thakur.
I read out the letter to Sri Sri Thakur. Sri Sri Thakur fixed His gaze on me for a few minutes. Thoughtlessly I was looking at Him.
Sri Sri Thakur broke the silence. "Sit here, do not go any where else". Sri Sri Thakur stretched Himself on the bed and slept. Before shutting the eyes, again He said, "continue to sit here till I get up. Do not go out."
I was taken aback. Tear was rolling down on my cheek, while I was sitting still besides Sri Sri Thakur's bed. I was nonplussed. Why I am weeping? Why am I not able to hold my tears back?
All my worldly belongings gone, now I am free. But how am I going to feed those who are dependent on me?
Why did it happen to me? Am I responsible for this? I am being driven by some one whom I have acceded as my Guide; whom I consider to be the omniscient. I was rudderless previously, no longer now. Why am I worried? What do know about things that are happening or are likely to happen? I have come to Him as He knows every thing.
While thoughts like these are torpedoing my mind and soul internally, externally I my eyes are fixed on the charming face of the man who knows me best and loved me the most, in placid slumber, displaying an aura that keeps me captivating all along. After a while, Sri Sri Thakur got up, washed His face and walked out, instructed me to follow Him. He sat on a chair below a mango tree and stated talking.
"Whatever happened is good and it all is due to the grace of Supreme father. It is a great purging that helped you to shed the excess belongings which are not yours. Whatever are your own are there with you now. Still you have more happenings to come across. Some people, who genuinely not yours will desert and disown you and those who are truly yours, will come closer to you. Never harbor animosity against any one. You will pay your dues to everybody without undue expectation. Remember to day is an auspicious day for you. Evil, which usually possesses people and drives their mind, got defeated and crushed today. Minor influence is still there, but what got exorcised was very potent one. Have you come across a picture of Lord Christ standing, crushing evil under His holy feet? Such a picture of Lord Jesus is there and it says that evil forces get diminished in human life as divine forces replace them. Usually it happens thrice and the first experience is very excruciating. Thereafter it becomes easier."
My mind was lightened with the sermon of Sri Sri Thakur. I literally laid myself at the feet of Sri Sri Thakur as events of last one and half year flashed back in my mind, during which Sri Sri Thakur has not let me off even for a day. At night, He makes me to sit besides Him and do meditation; there are occasions when the whole night passes off in meditation. In fact, Sri Sri Thakur set a routine for me; when to eat, what to eat, how much to eat, time to sleep, time to wake up, time to meditate, nothing escapes His notice. He makes me to regulate myself with ease. It is a fact that I am deprived of all worldly means, yet I have no dearth of joy. At this juncture of life, I recollect with gratitude another person, who is pujyapada Bar'da, the eldest son of Sri Sri Thakur. His alert notice on me was a great support for me at that time, like a God-sent angel. I was devoid of minimum worldly means to live, to offer istabhrity. At times pujyapada Bar'da offers me some money on his own accord. He calls me for imparting dikshaa to new persons. The dakhinaa I receive, whatever be the amount, goes a long way to keep my istabhrity uninterrupted.
If this were to happen at some other time in my life, I would have committed myself to nothing but to suicide. Under Sri Sri Thakur's protection, the events passed off as if in dream. Today as the dream is over, I am absorbed in reflection. My horoscope reads that this time would be very bad, I would be pushed to sever destitution and defamation. My relatives would turn inimical to me. I would be consigned to confinement, which I took as incarceration. Every thing as per the prediction did indeed take place. Only difference is that in lieu of prison, I remained confined to Sri Sri Thakur's vicinity. Amidst all the conditions of penury and persecution, I enjoyed immense joy. That was Sri Sri Thakur's grace on me. No planets could harm me as Jupiter, symbolizing the Guru, cast his favorable spell on me. The worst period in my life turned out to be the best. Sri Sri Thakur turned the vanquished as victorious.
|
